Processing it all

Almost every morning this week I have been interviewed about the articles I am writing on life, faith, and random musings. The interviews are conducted in my bathroom as I get ready to go to work, which is a little awkward but very convenient. The frequency of my articles seems to be snow-balling. Maybe all the reading I have been doing this summer is kicking my philosophical side into high gear. Besides a progression in thought and a strengthening of faith and action, I have remarkably little to show for all I've been contemplating. Perhaps that's because the articles I write in my mind every morning on my way to work never actually get written or shared. And the interviewer in the mirror asks probing questions that I am not yet prepared to answer. Besides, she's kind of intimidating; must not be a morning person. At any rate, this morning the interviewer challenged me that I've got to start getting my writings written and I promised to give it a go.

Here's the problem: process. I am in process. Read my blog description. That's me. And while I am comfortable posting quotes and notes of what I am reading, I am afraid to share how it affects me or what I myself am thinking. Because, a few weeks from now, I won't be here anymore. I will be somewhere else. I may not agree with myself in a year. I recently read over some of my 1st year research papers from Trinity. What a nut! I was so narrow-minded and hermeneutically sure of myself. It's kind of funny to see my naïveté. And it's also frightening. To see how far I've come, and how wrong I was, and to realize that in the not-too-distant-future I will look back at this very post and feel the same way. Most of all it's humbling. Which is good because I desperately need to be humbled.

I like to be sure of myself. I think others assume I am much more sure of myself than I actually am. I will never be completely sure of myself. I can't wait till I am sure of myself to share myself with others. It won't happen and we will all miss out. I don't say that because I think I'm wonderful and you are missing out if you aren't part of me. I am saying that because I believe God creates us with special gifts and abilities that He wants us to give back to Him by sharing them with His world. And if we don't do that, we all miss out on each other and on Him.

This reminds me of an article I was going to write on Spiritual Discipline. So I'll stop writing this and save it for the article. I don't know why I call them articles. Maybe because I love Relevant magazine and want to be cool like that.

Anyway, I am going to start sharing more on this blog. I'm toying with the idea of writing some real articles and submitting them to a magazine like Relevant. What do you think?

I guess all of this is an attempt to explain me and to ask for you to extend grace. It isn't easy for me to share my heart, but it's something I feel compelled and burdened to do. As I attempt to share, please feel free to interact with me. I could use your help to be a better communicator. And guess what, I hate debates. I never ever want to debate you. We can talk. We can ask questions and think and engage. But we're not going to debate. So don't get any wise ideas. I am sharing where I am or what I am thinking. If you attack me I will coil into the fetal position and cry and we won't get anywhere. But we can talk. I like to talk.